19 Sep Let it go…
People often get “stuck in the muck” of life. Something happens; a fight with a friend, a work related matter, or we become upset with the way a teacher/employer treated us and dwell on it. Then we dwell some more. Then we tell everyone we know about it, as we search, perhaps for some empathy, some form of validation that will serve to reinforce how we feel about that particular situation. Often, we end up stuck, much like a hamster on a wheel…going nowhere fast! And what’s worse, all the time we spend obsessing about something that happened is time lost from doing, thinking, feeling in a positive manner. Therefore, since we cannot change what happened, we need to learn how to move forward in a more productive way…which also means “letting go” of the negative feelings.
How do we do this? Below are some basic steps to follow:
- Acknowledge the pattern of holding on – do I do this often or just in certain situations? If so, which one’s in particular?
- Explore the reasons behind why you need to hold on – does it give you a sense of control? how does holding on make you feel – happy? powerful? Do you think letting go means that you are OK with what happened?
- What would you be doing, thinking, feeling if you weren’t so preoccupied with the negative feelings? Why not try a change of scenery, go for a walk, write your feelings, thoughts down in a journal, then share them with a trusted friend – get the issue out of your head, so you don’t continue playing it over and over and over again.
The reality is; even though we cannot change whatever happened that upset us, we CAN change how we think, feel and react to it. Ultimately, we need to let go of the past in order to make room for the future…and what better time to do that then in the present!
“Moments we waste in sadness, anger and worries are actually moments we steal from ourselves. Life is too short, so smile and be thankful”. (Julia Turner)
Until next time,
Cor : )