02 Oct Sometimes bad things just happen
Do you believe everything happens for a reason? I don’t. Yet, I have always been the type of person who analyses everything. I think if I understand the “why” of a situation then maybe I will be able to accept the “what” of it as well. This past week, I learned that sometimes bad things just happen – defying logic, or reasonable explanation, devoid of rhyme or reason…simply because. No matter how much we search for an answer, explanation, a rationale, there does not seem to be one.
However, when there does not seem to be a clear explanation we then create a rationale in an effort to justify the event/circumstance/situation so that we can feel better, accept. As if understanding or acceptance changes what has happened…It does not; it merely provides us with the perception that it does. Maybe that’s enough for some, maybe that’s why so many of us live in denial…because it is too painful, too difficult not to have a reason…we want/need to believe there is a greater picture. This provides hope and comfort. Because the thought that bad things just happen, for no reason gives us the sense that we can’t control our lives and that is a very scary thought.
Perhaps all we really need is to be a little more realistic. In Alcoholics Anonymous, the members recite a serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference” (Reinhold Nebuhr). This prayer reinforces the idea that some things are in our control, while other things are indirectly in our control yet others are completely out of our control.
For if we understand and accept this concept – then we no longer need to spend our time and effort searching for “the reason”, instead, we can focus our time and energy on what we choose to do about it!
“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we choose to handle it”.